Pursuing the Hope of a Cure

At Robyn's request, one of her intimates would read to her every day from "The Revelation Of Ruchiradam", Avatar Adi Da's newly-Given Essay on the ultimate, or "Perfect", practice of the Way of Adidam. She was drawn beyond herself by Beloved Adi Da's depiction of the "Bright" as the White Sphere in the field of black. She knew all about "the black", and the process of her last weeks was the process of finding and trusting "the Bright". I, from my position, feeling the depth of my relationship to her over nearly fifty years, had to endure a similar process. She was my only sibling, and I felt a huge dimension of my own life and mind — every experience and feeling I had shared with her and no one else — dropping away.

Each day I visited her in her beautiful room — calm and full, and pervaded by the intimate, Radiant feeling of Beloved Adi Da's Spiritual Presence. In the evenings, I wrote to Beloved Adi Da about Robyn's process — physical, emotional, and Spiritual. Then, late at night, I studied the Ruchiradam Revelation and wrote the concluding chapters of Adi Da, the forthcoming new edition of Beloved Adi Da's biography. Every night, I was immersed in Beloved Adi Da's most "radical" Teaching about the Nature of Reality, and every day I had to feel and live the truth of it in life, with Robyn. There was no choice.

In the middle of June, an alternative to the debilitating series of lung drains was suddenly offered. Robyn's respiratory specialist suggested the rather unusual course of inserting a tube into the pleural cavity that would drain constantly into a bag. This new option made an extraordinary difference. Although Robyn was still losing energy and protein through the fluid, she no longer had to suffer the cycle of temporary relief and then renewed breathlessness every few days. Encouraged by this stabilization, Robyn decided to move to Melbourne, in case there was still a hope for her to participate in the clinical trials.

She was being wonderfully cared for at the physical and human level by close devotee friends, and by Dennis, her intimate. And with all this loving support she traveled by air to Melbourne — tube, cylinder of oxygen, and all.

Avatar Adi Da Samraj was continuing to support her potential participation in the trials, but He saw a greater value in her move to Melbourne. There was a larger community of His devotees there, including close intimates of Robyn who had been instructed by Beloved Adi Da over many years in the sacred principles of ashram life and in chanting and sacramental worship. By the time Robyn arrived at the rented apartment, her friends had prepared the place and set up her room as a temple space. The apartment was infused with Avatar Adi Da's tangible Spiritual Force. Robyn had left her home of nine years, with all of its familiarity, for a simple circumstance where there was no distraction from the sacred life of Communion with Beloved Adi Da. For Robyn, the move was an entry into renunciation, and this was pleasing to Beloved Adi Da.

Now the life around Robyn took on a unique quality of concentration in artfully managing the medical side of her life (which was complex) so that it would not interfere with her Spiritual Contemplation of Beloved Adi Da. Avatar Adi Da was fierce for her sake in His insistence that she deepen her Spiritual life. He expected that we would handle her medication in such a way that she would not be constantly bothered by the body, so that she could be free in her attention to go beyond body-consciousness.

Beloved Adi Da asked for digital photographs of Robyn to be sent every day, and He would often lay His hands on the photographs, Blessing her with His constant Regard.