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Human Love Is Not Enough
One
day, sitting up in bed, very bright-eyed and intense,
Robyn suddenly said to me, "Human love is not
enough. People should be told this." She was reflecting
on the pattern of her life, which had been focused
on human love and intimacy, which she made possible
for others through her therapeutic work. She spoke
without regret but passionately when she said
it was "not enough". She understood that while
she had practiced the Way of Adidam for many years,
she had not done so with great depth because she
had become distracted by her urge to improve life
at the human level. When Beloved Adi Da heard
what she had said, He made a point to all His
devotees.
AVATAR
ADI DA SAMRAJ: The
Way of Adidam is not merely what beginners
do. Fundamentally, the Way of Adidam is
the Ruchiradam practice (which I also call
"Samraj Yoga"), developed on the basis of
the devotional and Spiritual relationship
to Me. And for the development of that practice
to occur, you must have a sacred culture,
including the opportunity for real retreat.
Life
is terrible. Therefore, people allow themselves
to be deluded by the immediate pleasures
they receive. They indulge in such delusion
as a means of ignoring reality —
and they must not do that. The Way of
Real Liberation must be fully communicated
and fully developed. It is a Divine Spiritual
Way. It requires deep breath, and you
stay alive only to the point that staying
alive is appropriate.
 The
practice is surrender to the Divine —
really so — and Knowledge of the
Divine, but not in the thinking sense.
It is a Gnosis beyond self-contraction.
People do not typically experience the
Reality of the Divine. People tend to
think of religion only in worldly terms,
social terms. And that leaves them with
no recourse in the face of death.
It
is terrible and unbearable that people
should take fear of death seriously. Death
is a lie. Robyn — and any devotee
who has a devotional response to Me —
must be able to enjoy being opened to
the Divine Reality, and must be able to
experience It without doubt.
What
Robyn is expressing is that somehow she
is feeling serious in waking up to what
she is and what her condition is. Hopefully,
that is occurring with great depth —
and that is for her to examine.
The
situation that Robyn is in is the same
situation that everyone is in. You can
die any time. So, Robyn's situation should
be a lesson for everyone. There have been
centuries of this murderous game going
on, in which people die without the benefit
of real wisdom or right preparation. Everyone
should embrace this devotional practice
and not waste any more time—not one
more breath.
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In
the midst of this serious Instruction from Beloved
Adi Da, Robyn was interviewed for the possibility
of participating in the clinical trials. Although
she had been awaiting this moment for months,
the doctors told her that her condition was borderline
and that they would have to do further tests and
wait a few weeks before making their decision.
This was a blow. Robyn knew that she did not have
weeks to wait. And yet the door to a possible
cure was not yet closed.
All
of us around her keenly felt her sense of dilemma.
It is one thing to be fully open to the process
of death when there is not even a remote chance
of a cure. It is another thing to do so when there
is still some hope, however slight. But, for Beloved
Adi Da, there was no contradiction at all. To
be open to the death process is not different
from profound Spiritual practice in life. Both,
as He pointed out, require the upward surrender
of attention to Him — not strategically,
but from the heart, without concern for the body-mind.
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AVATAR
ADI DA SAMRAJ: Robyn
needs to get in touch with what is above
the brows. She might be a little afraid
that she will disappear if she gets turned
up. She must be turned up, not dropping
her eyes down to the physical. Robyn needs
to feel What is Above and not be afraid
that It is an enemy. If the Light Sublimes
her, good. If It recedes from the physical,
then that is what is happening. She must
feel It. Bring Light and healing down, and
be sublimed beyond physical concerns. [June
18, 2001]
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And,
again, at the end of June, Beloved Adi Da spoke
with great feeling to members of the Ruchira Sannyasin
Order. Beloved Adi Da had been looking at photographs
I had sent showing Robyn with her intimates. He
felt that we were still relating to her at the
social level, and that she wanted this. There
were tears in His eyes, as He felt her plight:
AVATAR
ADI DA SAMRAJ:
Robyn is not being properly served to let
go. The signs in her body indicate that
she is not ready to let go. Is she afraid
that if she meditates too deeply, she will
die?
The
greatest pain is not wanting to do what
you know you have to do. There is Divine
life and Divine death, and it is all Yoga.
There is a time to live and a time to
die. I did not want her to get caught
in the treatment game.
When
an animal is dying, it wanders off into
the wilderness and finds out what death
is about. She should spend time alone.
She should be helped to relax and enter
into a deep condition.
It
is time for her to stop suffering the
fact that she is dying. Death is a profound
matter and must be taken seriously. Death
is not the enemy. It is not to be regarded
as some horror. Death is Samadhi.
The
only part of death that is about death
is when the body drops. After that, It
is a profound existence. It can be reached
during life, but most people do not find
out about it until they die. [June 30,
2001]
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Nearly
every day Robyn would receive "Love and Blessings"
from Beloved Adi Da, and He was asking about her
several times every day. Robyn was deeply amazed
and touched by Beloved Adi Da's overwhelming compassion
and love, and deeply challenged by the relinquishment
He was calling for. But she wanted to respond.
His Spiritual Presence in her room was unbelievably
potent.
More
and more, the great joy of Robyn's life became
the quiet chanting of two of her women friends,
Ruth Schoenheimer and Lina Stafford. Sometimes
the chant would be the Mantra of one of Beloved
Adi Da's Names, sometimes lines from Beloved Adi
Da's Teaching, sometimes the devotional prayers
of invocation. Ruth had set these prayers to music
in a way that melted Robyn to the depth of her
being and moved her into blissful surrender. Robyn
spoke of this in her last letter to Beloved Adi
Da, which she wrote in her own hand, on a notepad.
(In the letter she refers to Ruth, and to Remembrance,
another friend, who Beloved Adi Da had asked to
serve Robyn at this time.)
July
3, 2001
Most
Beloved Lord, I write this morning Covered
by You, Washed by the constant touch of
Your hand through the night. You have
desired that I be sublimed, and I feel
You Subliming me.
Beloved
Heart, I so appreciate Your Criticism
of the life I lived before I became sick
and the way I distracted myself from the
Profound Matter. It is deeply true, and
terribly difficult to imagine a passage
to here from there that did not involve
mortal threat. I had no idea about the
world I was living in.
It
seems completely tacky to come to Your
Feet with a terminal illness and suddenly
say, "Oh, I see—now I understand".
But, of course, that is just how it is.
And
I also feel the validity of You Criticism
that, now, in this ashram circumstance,
being so surrounded by human love, I may
be content with that, as I have always
been before.
I
beg, my Lord, that, by Your Grace, mine
can be a greater destiny, that I can find
real profundity and renunciation in this
time, which will serve me for this lifetime
and the next. I feel You Granting that
possibility with Great Force of Love.
Remembrance
turns me constantly to renunciation and
Samadhi and the abandonment of all else
but this devotion. She shows me the place
where I make the limits and helps me to
move beyond. I do seem to want to make
a limit on Samadhi. Twice yesterday, having
fallen into bliss for an hour from Ruth's
utterly ego-transcending chant, I wanted
and even asked her to stop, because I
could not tolerate such bliss to continue.
I feel there is much more surrender to
do here. But I feel You are Teaching me
quickly. Also, while deep Happiness and
Love-Bliss come upon me a lot, I do not
yet see much "Bright", though those around
me see me Pervaded by It.
I
did come here to Melbourne and got suddenly
caught up in trying to be well enough
for the trials. I feel I have released
that now in response to Your Word, and
I accept whatever will happen, and I feel
the luxuriousness of the release of effort.
I
feel You are asking me to fully prepare
for death while having no pre-conceptions,
so that is what I am trying to do. It
feels the perfect course.
Beloved
Heart, it is impossible to say more than
a fraction of what I mean or feel.
Your
Guidance, Love, and Blessing are utterly
overwhelming to me. You are All-Greatness,
Perfect, Unending Samadhi, the Very Divine
Lord, and I rest my head at Your Beautiful
Feet, there by the lake.
Robyn
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